What Sethea wants her children, their spouses, and her grandchildren to know about love and marriage.
When I was younger, my mom showed me a picture of my cousin’s family and the kids were ‘his, mine and ours.’ I said, “How messed up is that, Mom?” She tried to explain. “Well, her husband left her, his wife died, and they got together and had a child,” she said.
I thought it was terrible—unbeknownst to me, I would have a similar situation down the road. I’ve learned that you don’t know how something is going to work until you’re in it yourself.
My marriage to Ken is just so different than my first relationship. Ken’s love is completely, constantly unconditional.
It isn’t unusual for him to bring me flowers, or buy me a card and hide it under my pillow, in my suitcase, or even in the freezer (because he knows how much I love popsicles). He is so thoughtful and romantic—and it just comes naturally because that’s how he really feels.
When we first got married, Ken’s mom would say to me that this romantic stuff wasn’t the son she knew. He never wanted to do these things with his previous wives.
Ken has told me that’s because he’s never felt this way about someone before.
He was extremely young when he married the first time. He loved his second wife because she was the mother of his children, but he wasn’t in love with her. There’s a huge difference.
I want my kids to be in love with their spouses. Marriage is a huge sacrifice for two people, but it’s a sacrifice that pays off. If you meet the right person, you work hard, and you truly love somebody, it’s worth being patient.
I want to tell my kids and my grandkids that it’s very important to put God first and then family and to find somebody who loves you and is going to make you a better person for all the right reasons. I pray for my kids’ happiness. I pray for them to find a husband or a wife who is going to love them and be unconditionally understanding.
I hope and pray that each one of our children and grandchildren meet and love their spouse the way Ken and I love each other.
And that they know marriage isn’t for a moment; it’s for a lifetime.